This catalogue is meant to be a collection of impossible physics equiptment that is very commonly used in physics problems of all sorts. It is just for your amusement and none of these things (should) exist.
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I have collected these from various tutors and students who participate in the training schools in Australia for students who wish to take part in the International Physics Olympiads. Thanks everyone.
Any other contributions are welcome, just (old address removed) email me and I will add anything that I like the sound of. Enjoy!
The Physics Box Catalogue
Your universal physics supply shop!
Fundamental Force supplies
F0100 Point masses
Perfect for all experiments involving gravitation, allowing you to specify exactly at what point all the forces will be applied. Lifetime guarantee!
F0101 Point mass tweezers
Ideal for fiddling with those infinitely small point masses
F0102 Point mass ring New!
This ring can easily be attached to any point mass allowing you to tie a string to any of the point masses with greater ease. The ring is also a point-ring so the pointiness of the point masses is not affected by the ring. If you buy 10 rings, you get a free threader making it easier to get that string through the little hole.
F0200 Point charge
Perfect for all electrical field experiment. Available in a large range of charges up to 5C. 2 Year guarantee.
F0300 Magnetic monopoles
These monopoles are avaliable only in matched pairs and are perfect for generating magnetic fields of any intensity.
General Mechanics supplies
M0100 Frictionless planes
Need something to slide all those blocks on? This is the perfect tool. Available in finite and infinite!
M0101 Universal sliding plane (all variables can be set)
An enhanced version of M0100 allowing perfect control over all the variables including static and kinetic coefficients of friction and angles.
M0200 1 dimensional line
Exactly what you need for those one-dimensional experiments – moving charges, masses, falling object with no interactions. 7 day money back guarantee!
M0201 infinite rod
When you need to generate a perfect electric field with no edge effects, or have two charges at infinite distances from each other, this is the perfect tool.
M0202 3d vectors
Exactly the right tool to illustrate any example. Available in a variety of colours and sizes.
M0300 infinite plane (flat or corrugated)
When you need a surface that never ends… you need M0300! If flat is a bit too boring, order the corrugated version!
M0400 infinite cube
Perfect for experiments involving cubes of an infinite size.
M0401 infinite sphere
Similar to the cube, but spherical.
M1120 controllable pulley
Ever wished for a pulley of which you can change to mass, friction and inertia? Well, here it is!
M1450 Massless, inextensible string
Exactly the right tool for all those blocks connected by strings going over pulleys. Goes well with M1450 and M0101.
M1451 Variable mass box
Change the mass with the turn of a knob! Completes the tools for sliding block experiments.
M1760 Spring which always obeys Hooke's Law
No matter how much you stretch, pull and play with this spring, it will always obey Hooke's law to the letter.
M9987 Gravity cider: guarantees perfect results in pendulum prac
Need good results in the pendulum prac? This gravity cider will do the trick.
Message from mathematics safety authority: don't drink and derive.
Intrinsic Energy and Entropy equipment
E5000 Energy-meter (KE, PE, various units)
Universal energy meter. Allows you to measure exactly what the state of your objects is, and everything about them. It also converts between 30 different units for energy including joules, horsepower-years and tons of TNT.
E5100 Entropometer
Measures the entropy of a system to 28 significant figures! Guaranteed 50 years.
E5101 Entropy warning light: warns of rising entropy
This light will warn you of rising entropy so you can react quickly.
Thermodynamics equipment
T0100 Ideal gas conversion kit: converts point masses to ideal gas
Converts point masses F0100 to an ideal gas.
T0200 Adiabatic container
Guaranteed to be 100% adiabatic, or twice your money back!
T0250 Massless, thermally insulating thermometer
This thermometer will allow you to measure any temperatures without changing them at all. Its a simple as that.
T0400 Energy extractor: converts heat to energy and optionally reduces mass
Need to cool your food and power your house? This ingenious device extracts the thermal energy from your food and uses it to power your house! It will reduce your electricity bills significantly…
Electronics supplies
L0100 Adjustable resistor
This resistor can be adjusted digitally to an infinite range of resistances, heat dissipations, and sizes. It will even fit inside a point charge!
L0251 Ideal power supply
The name says it all!
L1300 Superconducting wire
Wire with 0 resistance at room temperature, wherever on Earth you are. Tested at up to 2000K. 2 year guarantee.
L2500 Non-Ohmic conductor that obeys Ohm's law
More of a novelty item than a useful physical device.
L2501 Ohmic conductor that does not obey Ohm's law
Again a novelty item for the amateur electronics engineer.
New Age Physics supplies
N1123 Individual photon dispenser
Dispenses individual photons for whatever needs you may have!
N1200 Teaspoon full of electron, neutrons, protons
Next time your recipe says "add two teaspoons of neutrons", you know exactly where to get them. Perfect for constructing miniature pulsars.
N5400 Spectral absorber: set the spectra to be absorbed
Select the spectra to be absorbed. Useful for a wide range of experiments.
N9640 Relativistic studies box
This box establishes a completely contained relativistic environment where you can play with c, G, E0, and even Pi! (Who out there has read Contact by Carl Sagan?)
Student Equipment
S0001 auto-correcting calculator: corrects you mistakes
This intelligent calculator recognises as soon as you type in wrong numbers, automatically correcting them. Perfect for the amateur physicist!
Miscellaneous equipment
X0200 Perfect vacuum flasks
Glass or steel flask containing zero particles in the gaseous or liquid form. Guaranteed to be absolutely empty upon opening.
X0201 Closed system containers
Maintain a perfectly closed system for all those sensitive experiments which require no loss of anything. Guaranteed to stop the escape of all particles and electromagnetic radiation including gamma radiation, neutrinos, gluons and and all their anti-matter counterparts.
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© Filip Radlinski 1997